i love the mayhem more than the love

i'm starting to wonder if i'll ever get better! this morning i woke up, got dressed, and headed off to school for the first time in three days. i got to school and almost immediately, i felt miserable again. i texted my mom and told her to come get me around lunch time so that i had time to gather make up work and at least say "hi" to megan and marissa. so yet again, i'm missing yearbook and french. tomorrow when i actually do go back to school, yearbook will be a mess because it's the deadline day. i'm just praying that i can get myself out of that mess on time. anyways, if you haven't noticed, i'm actually trying to update everyday. hayley's blog entries about the apathy of our blogs made me want to start keeping track of my blog on a daily basis again. sadly, that's all for the day folks!

underneath it all

lately, the days seem to past so quickly. the quickness of it all has left me in a daze and i can't even figure out which way is up and which way is down. this whole thing started last thursday, when we had an early release from school. arguments got the best me and my best friends which led us down a path that should never be taken. luckily, sunday brought peace to us but the result of this entire feud is the fact that i have an intense case of the flu. i think that all the stress and discomfort from the fight caused me to be so sick. now it's wednesday and i'm home sick with the flu for the third day in a row. i can't help but just think when i'm all alone laying in my bed, which has brought me many realizations. i realized that even if me and my best friends fight, they are really great people who actually care about me. i mean, they came over and brought me ice cream and to see how i was feeling. no one has ever done that for me before, they are really, extremely great friends and i'm so grateful that i have them in my life. i also realized that i'm not such a horrible person after all. i was thinking to myself that i have a great life, regardless if i'm not happy with my physical appearance. i have a lot of things in life that i'm so thankful that i have and i should stop letting them waste away. i need to start talking to my friends that have become distant throughout this school year, like sam and alyssa. i miss them more than words can describe and they are great friends who have always had my back since day one. the last thing that i realized is that i'm elated about the fact that me and hayley are talking more and more everyday, i thought that we were losing touch. i know we will never be as close as we were last year, but i'm glad that we are as close as we are now. i should probably go lay down so i can actually make it to school tomorrow, i just wanted to relieve the thoughts that have been stuck on my mind.

i hate being the safety crutch.

for lack of an actual title

in
bonfires & smores
getting straight b's
riding around with all the windows down in the amazing weather
feeling creative

out
complusive lying
attempting to recreate a solitary pod
smokey beer
the history channel